Revealing too much.

Revealing too much.

We all like it when people listen to us comment on our daily experience and difficulties we go through.

In fact, most of us want people to listen to us as much as possible, having a lot of things to say at any one time. The sad thing is, that since all of us want each other to listen to one another, not many people really listen that carefully. You get many kinds of people trying to listen, but yet no matter how much they try, they are only trying to project their point of view onto the speaker's anecdote.

On the occasion you do get people willing to listen to you. These people become your closest friends, and are envy of your other friends. Knowing the rules of not gossiping, these friends give you totally security as you can trust them not to spread your story around.

We bond by sharing our personal stories and listening to others. Many of us however prefer to be the story-teller than the latter. Yet too many a time, once an audience has been established, we go on and on.

Things we normally wouldn't reveal, we reveal. The momentum of the ideas flowing caused all our secrets to be told to the guy in question. The action however might not be the best in trying to obtain the result of a closer relationship.

Assuming that person is already a close friend, that move is definitely wise. Not many people can even so bare their hearts to even their soulmates. But yet, if that story is told to a new friend, one you just met, that might be a problem. Reason being, he is not ready to hear all these.

Assuming the setting of a rather grand ballroom, where smalltalk occurs.

You: You brought your family to visit the people serving their term at the jail last week?

Friend: Yes, and it was definitely an experience. My kids now understand how difficult jail life is, and I am sure they would think twice before making social mistakes. How about you?

You: Going there yesterday brought back many memories, it's quite wise of you to bring your kids, so they wouldn't do things like shoplifting. I wished my parents brought me there too when I was younger. I ended up stealing, and had to serve the term for six months.

Friend: ....

As a very short example, the friend is simply not ready to know that his new aquaintance is an ex-jailbird. It would be very difficult to make further progress between their relationship if the friend start to judge you before you can even say anything.

Being true and not hiding is definitely important. More importantly, you need to know when to and how much to say before you can tell your friend your stories, in case he is not ready and you lose him.