Reflection

n his autobiography The Wind Is My Mother,^[3] Muskogee shaman Bear Heart relays a lesson he as a child was presented by his uncle, Jonas Bear:

Jonas Bear once took me down to a pond and told me to look into it, asking, "What do you see?"

"I see my reflection."

"Put this stick in the water and stir up your reflection."

After I stirred it up, he asked, " Now what do you see?"

"My face is all distorted."

"Do you like what you see?"

"I know that it's not supposed to look that way."

"When you meet someone and you immediately dislike them, always remember you are seeing a reflection of yourself—there is something you don't like about yourself that you're not owning up to. When you see it in someone else, then you don't like that person, but in reality you are being displeased with yourself. Always remember that."

Stand up for yourself

You can stick with the team, you can do anything, and when the time is up for you to vote someone out, you're always wrong if you cannot make a decision. You lose if you cannot stand up for yourself.

In all the seasons of The Apprentice, we've seen numerous strong people get voted out at the end of the date, all due to the fact that they did not defend themselves. They ended up cursing why everyone was against them. You may not be the best case, but you definitely won't stand a chance if you don't even defend yourself.

A heart to heart talk with a friend, someone who finally I can call a really close friend, would be Brandon, all the way from primary school. Our relationship was a On-off one, and I was never truly fond of him based on a few early impressions. It was this talk with him that I went to his level and understood him and his well-meaning actions.

We shared a lot, and I realised quite a bit. At the end of the day, One key lesson would be to protect yourself. Do not take the brunt of bullshit people give you. Deflect them back at them if they are not justified.

I had a lonely and unhealthy early school years because I had not defended myself. I take no credit off the fact that it made me the person I am today, with full knowledge and want to cover up those flaws, but in hindsight, I now know what I can do to make myself a better person.

I have to defend myself.

"Who will stand up for you if you cannot even stand up for yourself?" Donald Trump

I want you in a meeting by 8 hours(SAF mobilisation)

I have been pushing myself really hard. Although, my final income output is not really any much higher, I tend to see it as a desperate attempt to better improve myself. To some extent, I have gained new insights into the other side of our fellow citizens from Singapore.

Though it might be generalizing, I personally find most Malays to be more carefree and not so bothered about work. They tend to take things easily and handle issues when they occur. Since that style of working method isn't really what I adopt, we more than often tend to clash.

A team leader of mine may have been thinking of something else, but imagine my chagrin when he informed me "politely" that there would be a team meeting the next exact day on 8am, at 12am, exactly 8 hours away. He claimed to have announced it during the earlier meeting which I could not attend due to work. I did try my best to question information from my fellow teammates and him, of which nothing came out.

I was in the midst of celebrating my dad's birthday party when some bits of anger slipped through my gatekeeper. They soon realized what was happening and advised me accordingly.

"Just tell him no, how can he inform you this way and at this hour?"

I wasn't myself sure to go or not. On one hand, I wanted, since the team has a rather awful way of handling the absentee, which most of the time would be me, which is to seal any information from the absentee himself. Any method of prying information would be futile and a waste of human resources. Yet, on the other hand, I was pissed. Why are they always doing things this way?

I decided I would not go. In fact, it changed the way I look at things to some small extent. I am always helpful, to some extent, short-changing myself to help others. This Thursday would be one. I have decided against it. I will no longer help for the sake of helping but stop to think, what's in it for me? By helping, is it worthwhile in terms of money? Will I be helping someone who would repay that effort? Would that person respect me for that? Would it be balanced in terms of monetary and human favors and to myself and my GIRLFRIEND?

I will fulfill my Thursday task which will be cleaning up of my store after 2 shifts of work. directly without rest without break. I've promised and that will be something I will keep. For the rest of them, I'm not really sure if they'd really keep their promises with that holy righteousness.

From now on, I will evaluate and think, and start defending for myself, and my rights. I've always wanted to convenience someone, my boss, my colleagues, my friends. I've always left out myself, my family and my girlfriend. We shall see about the current schedule. For the next next week, I shall plan my break for my girlfriend first, my boss and others can wait. I'm not lacking the money to this extent that I will short-change myself.

And oh, by the way, I kept my message reply short and sweet, no sugar-coating since it doesn't work.

"I'm sorry. I have planned a meeting with another friend. Please inform me earlier next time."

His reply was this: "ohh its okay. We'll get you involved. Sorry"

I am sure he did not meant a single bit of sorry that of which he had said.

Although they say, to respect someone before they can respect you, I'm sure I don't really care if I earn his respect, not when he keeps telling me the fact he can't recall something I said, cause "he doesn't remember unimportant things". I see how respected I am for saying unimportant things. I'm sorry.

We aren't just the few

As much as I would like to believe that I am highly oriented towards success and I'd be the only few that have directed goals, it's actually not that feasible. There are more people willing and wanting to make it big and prove themselves. We have varying degrees of that want some more than me, some less than me. Nevertheless, since I've for a short period of time thought I was the only one, with that intense degree, I've actually been very myopic.

I always thought I was king when I hear people's reply of "I don't know" when confronted with the question of, "so what are you gonna do in the future?" Some people are not unsure, they just don't know how to begin, some have really targeted goals which they might choose not to share for fear of judgement or it may really be just that difficult to start with.

Working with a fellow malay led me to this thinking. He was but another highly motivated to succeed kind of guy which led me to think about how much I would really be worth when compared to other people identical to him. He was passionate to the extent that I would just let him talk without interruption and he'd go on and on. We had difference, but we had too many similarities in terms of goals.

He mentioned how he felt inadequate about his rambling and how many friends whom did not identify with him couldn't be bothered to listen how he shouldn't talk more about that subject. I understood, for I'd experienced it as well. I didn't share anything, I acted like a ignorant fool letting him say everything and judge that I wasn't really that interested in my goal.

I had no reason to. I wouldn't win a thing, I couldn't be bothered to.

So how about the people whom had to hear me preach about my goals not long before? They appeared below me for I was not able to seek their viewpoints in the midst of my rambling, and I judged them. For all I know, they may be looking upon me with their experienced way ahead of me, just listening.

What I do know is that I'm really not alone in my aim for it. Way too many people aim for what I aim and despite the abundance, how do I know, that I can be one of the chosen few? I'll just have to wait and see, as negativity and self-talk try to wrestle me from my goals.

(All that led to this post with no logical sequence. Too much feelings not arranged and unable to be placed into exact words, that is what I am feeling.)

Ten cents? Nah.

Ten cents mean a lot to me. My team was having a meeting together and we were wondering how to get more volume for our weekly coffee tasting. When we finally decided that the reason was that it was not catchy enough, we wanted colour printouts, and not the dull black and white copies our store could produce. I was in charge of that and the team wanted me to print it. They wanted me to pay for it. "It's only ten-cents"

I was pissed. Not only was my idea not taken at many intervals after so many unnecessary times, they made me feel like I can't even spend ten cents. I reasoned to myself, I'm here to earn money, not to contribute to society because I'm too embarrassed or unable to claim.

I could have confronted them and make a strong suit about how I wouldn't pay it no matter how they forced me but I thought otherwise. It did bug me even though.

Along the way, I was fuming. Who are they to say that? I really wanted to tell them, of the extent I go just to save ten cents, and then here they are, telling me, it's only ten cents.. you mean you can't afford it?

A ride from my station to the airport direct is $1.70 in terms of fare and easily takes 1hr and 10 mins maximum. A ride with a transfer would probably take 45 mins maximum and cost $1.81. If I am not in a rush, I would take the former. Now tell me the difference for the extra 25 mins of journey.

I see every bit of money as important to me and I try very hard to limit my expenditure. I really wanted to blast out at them then(it's my life values being attacked and challenged), but I recognised being professional and kept it to myself.

Finally I realised what I should have said instead. Hey guys, I know it's only 10cents, but I'm really tight and every cent matters a lot to me, so I can't really print it in full colour. You all okay with my other suggestion on using the store printer?

I think it would be much better than the silence I caused trying to ignore that particular comment/

The Dream

I had a dream yesterday and it brought me attention to something. Although I remembered that it felt really intense at that time, and now it feels absolutely normal, I still wish to say something about it.

In the dream, I was in a dangerous position, and would be about to die. As I was about to die, I thought of all the things I wouldn't be able to do, haven't acomplished and how life would just suck if I just die like that having achieved nothing worth commenting about. And yes, I did die.

In the dream, the death wasn't painful even as it involved me getting involved in a falling building and being crushed to death. I remember trying my best to cling for my life for I wanted to survive. I thought I made it and when I next saw the papers, I was one of the casualty. I remember being how sad to die.

At that point of time, I wondered. If I knew I was going to die, would I ignore every constraint I have and just go forward to achieve what I wanted to? Would I care about failures? Amusingly, the pain of death wasn't death itself for me then. It was the inability to achieve the achievement goals I have set for myself.

I remember how hard I weeped and how strong my emotions. I recall my pain and I vowed to do all I can when I get a chance to be alive again, which I never did. I got my chance already when I awoke from my dream only to find out that, I never really took and gratefully accept the second chance. I still am doing what I am doing without much headway and hardly motivated to do something big now.

I recall how painful it was to see my family members being depressed for me, and even as I saw them, they couldn't see me. I felt depressed beyond words.

Dreams are so powerful and the emotion stirred me from the sleep way too many times. But as when I finally awoke, things resume their course and I set about doing the things I do before with no change with no difference in direction. The dream was great but wasted.

Starbucks' culture

I love working for Starbucks, even though I hate the pay. There's one thing that makes working in Starbucks a very pleasant one and that is how they do not contradict the culture they are trying to cultivate. In a few companies, salespeople are told to collaborate only to have the company rate their promotions chances based on their sales, which literally tears them apart. Such kind of contradiction is not one I can find in SB.

SB is about putting partners above customers, and just saying yes to all customer needs as much as we can. We are probably talking about service to customers more than profit.

The first part is easily exemplified by this example. What would you think a wine company would do if the promoter breaks a bottle of wine? Would he be forced to pay? Would he be black listed? Just the other day, I was handling food and due to my carelessness, I dropped a tray of muffins. There were a total of 9 in there with a total cost of $27 to be. I wasted company funds of that amount. I was definitely regretful and it was done in front of my fellow partners and managers. They probably knew that it wasn't on purpose and they did not make a fuss of it nor ask me to pay for it though the wastage was all due to my one person's carelessness. To me, they understood how by making me feel degraded, I would have less performance and be unable to deliver the Starbucks experience.

At POS areas, where cash comes in and out, shortages are not a uncommon things. I still remember from a friend that at NTUC, if the cashier cashes in the wrong sum, she would pay the shortfall. Not at SB. Once I had a shortfall of $4, due to some slight confusion and they accepted it, and never did once bring it up to me. Imagine if they would argue penny for penny and I would have worked almost and hour free labour. You would think I will never do POS ever again.

SB emphasis is on providing legendary customer service. Just today, a single customer argued that both her drink would be a grande size and we were rather confused since the order was called out differently. When I asked to see her receipt, I noticed that she was wrong and that a grande size would cost her more. I immediately asked to change her drink for her to her requested size and I made her happy and she smiled before leaving even though I could argue that she place the wrong order. Was I punished for giving the wrong drink? Did I have to pay for the wrong drink? No. SB puts its responsibility on its partners and being empowered, we can do good to fulfil SB's aims.

I wouldn't have noticed this if not from a news about $1 coffees in selected stores in Seattle. Note that in all other SB's there would not be this promotion, and definitely not in Singapore. What hit me was that if a customer insist on that cup, we would "just say yes" and give that cup free to the customer. That really brought me thinking and I realised how the whole culture of SB is suitable for itself and doesn't back stab its self. I feel fortunate working in SB.

Lessons from The Apprentice

I have been watching The Apprentice quite abit after the introduction to it by a friend a while back. I'm starting to like it as I get to see people and people's interaction and the possible conflicts and then when they get interviewed, the parties normally let out all they can. It's probably identical to how we all function when we get projects.

We may get uncomfortable with how the person says or does something but we keep it under control thinking that it's no use letting out all steam and pretty soon it becomes difficult working with one another.

When troubles come, I've always thought that thrashing things out would be a good way to solve it, but from the way the show depicts it, it doesn't seem to help. One party will be less outspoken and will be shadowed and he or she will not feel that she had been thoroughly understood. Problems will still continue to ensue.

When we have conflicts with a single person who is the source of all negativity, normally, the team leader has a role to do something about it. He will pull the person aside and try to get things clear so that conflicts will happen in less occurrences. Apparently one less outspoken person did just that. He was the project manager and he pulled out one negativity king and tried to set things clear. I realised that for him, that didn't seem to work. He however, never sought to understand the other party's viewpoint.

I do realised that in a team setting, delicate balance is needed. Talk too much or contribute consistently to no good ideas, and you're out. Be too quiet and contribute not enough, and you're out. Be uneasy around and unnatural around people you work with, and you're not going to last. One setback may lead the team to always set you aside, and you will be made to feel unwanted. At least, that's what one team did to a non-stop blabbering and non-producing guy.

Sometimes people have hidden agendas in doing something. For example, Marshawn had not wanted to put on the costume and she thought that failing to present well might lead her to be fired, and that's a valid point. That however was not known to the team. The team thought she gave up on them, and she quickly got fired. When asked to justify all that, and why she refused her duty, all she said was crap. The real meaning of all that calculated acts was never revealed, pretty similar to how some people seem difficult but they would never seriously and truthfully tell you why. They definitely have something to do in them, but they would never tell you.

Jolt

It has been quite a hectic week for me. I've been working back to back almost everyday starting from Tuesday until today where I finally got to rest and splurged all my time on merely sleeping alone. Work has never been that tiring for me while I'm on it and reality that I actually get tired catches up with me when I end work.

As I was walking back home today morning from that shift from yesterday till today morning, totally tired and desperately wanting to collapse on a bed, I thought to myself, what am I doing all these for? What is the real meaning behind it? Despite wanting more financial aid, that probably isn't the determining factor for me working this way I am.

I am myself sincerely fearful of going with the flow and start treating it as a routine, which if I do, probably will lead to my demise. My demise refers to the fact that I'd stop growing as a person and stop learning, and anything that stops that basically is a zombie.

I have always stood my ground. I wouldn't forget why I joined Starbucks for. I could have chosen a better company or a higher paid one, but I chose Starbucks. I came there to learn, and for the first part, I did really try my best to learn. As I now approach proficiency with whatever I've learnt, I wonder, if the routine of my daily work has caught up with me, such that I now forget to start learning and continue growing.

Nevertheless, that brief moment of self-consciousness has jolted me back and I now know why I'm trying to be nice, winning people who dislike me to my side, why I'm willing to be so poorly paid, why I am reading all the books, why I am willing to travel so far and all. I do need to control my thinking and so I can steer myself into the hands of my destination.

Be genuinely interested in others

Many of us make a mistake of being too focused on ourselves. Every thing in the world is about us. Whether we ask our friends to go out to have fun or to help others, there's always this part of self-interest involved. That however is no problem. Being human, that's always a part of us, the self-centered part, but what the problem is, is letting everyone know that whatever you do is merely for yourself, and you make it seem like they have nothing to benefit from the process.

Consider this conversation:

A to B: I want you to come to the gym and play basketball with me. We always lack players in that gym and the other time we had to play merely just passing the ball around. Because of that, C got a black eye from missing the ball.

How would you think B would reply? Would he even be interested to get a black eye or satisfy his friend? Note that no where in the converstaion mentioned benefits of playing the game with A. However extreme this may seem, generally, that's how we request things from others. Ask yourself how you would ask for a raise. Would you make sure that your boss is shown that giving you the raise would be mroe advantageous to him or is it merely begging him for it?

The next time we try something, let's see it in the other person's light. Let's see how we can do things for others and not merely ourselves. A person desperately wanting to get people to like him will have no better results than that of one who is genuinely interested in other people. Have you ever been shown genuine concern? How did it feel like? Did it make you want to be around that person more?

I've been trying to do all of these, and I find that they work for most part though not for all people I know. Some people just seem to be unapproachable no matter what I do. I have also thought it through. Instead of trying to get people who I don't like to like me, why not just focus my energy on those who are already my friends?

Consider a puppy. They say that a man's best friend is a dog. If you own a dog, who is the one who stands at the door waiting for you to come back and eagerly greets you? Who is the one who is genuinely happy just to see you? Who is the one who loves you and is nto going to sell you insurance or wants to get married with you?

A hen is breed for its eggs, a cow for its milk, and sheep for its wool. A dog however is the animal raised for its love. You see, the dog is genuinely interested in you. No one mistakes that for anything else and anyone who can accept a dog will love to be greeted by one.

Everyone loves a loyal dog, but does that dog go around pleasing everyone? It doesn't. It gives its love to its master and no one else. The dog which is innately better at making people like it than humans to humans can also seems to understand the fact that it is pointless to make everyone like it!

Therefore, here comes my experiement in forcussing on which ever friends I can mix with. I will be around people I feel comfortable with instead of trying to mix with everyone I know of. I'll see what the difference is in my life.

Bus Uncle

Sometimes I have shifts from 4 pm to 1 am the next morning, and one would be wondering, if so, how the hell do you get home? I got home at 2.30 am yesterday and slept soon after. The pending question is still, how do I get home actually?

Starbucks Changi Airport actually caters a van to bring all of us partners home. Even if you live in Woodlands, you'll get sent home. Obviously, there is a driver for a van will not be able to move without one. Let's call this driver Uncle.

I have met this uncle 2 times. I do not know if he likes me, but I do know he says nasty things. The first time when I took the van, I was virtually running up and down looking for the van since I didn't know if he was the one. Although I was wearing the Starbucks shirt, he made no attempt to tell me he was the one, but that's okay, since no one would want to be embarrassed if I was not that one. Later he made a rather interesting comment. It goes something like this, translated: I was wondering which idiot was running up and down. So much for being welcoming as Starbucks always emphasized. It didn't affect me and I made a few attempts to converse with him, always with him replying reluctantly. I gave up and sat quietly waiting to approach my home only to have him tell me about how reluctant he is to bring me all the way in and how if I'm not a girl so he won't do it for me the next time round. Well, point noted.

So here comes the next day, and I get to sit on this vehicle and my friend happen to ask me where to. I said Boon Keng and that triggered him. He said my house was at Towner road, and not Boon Keng, Mcnair rD(that's my address btw) or Bendemeer, nor Little India. He also added in that I'm a dumb and stupid person who doesn't even know where I lived. I took it easily as I sort of expected shit from him, but I did one thing wrong. I corrected him that my house road is at Mcnair. I shouldn't have done that. It didn't make an impact on him. He probably didn't want to hear it and didn't hear it. The rest of the journey was long before I reached my area and I left. Prior to this, he commented on my closing of this van door as too light and I sort of closed it with a harder impact probably leaving wrinkles on his face as he grimaced in what seemed like eternal pain to him. I swear it wasn't calculated beforehand. I even thanked him and said good night to him which he ignored.

Which I am happy for it didn't affect me whatever nasty things he said. I took it as he is like that. I went thinking about this phrase which I recalled, that anyone has enough good points which are probably hidden by their cool or rugged outlook. I started to think of what good point he had and I came to one.

Believe it or not, no matter how nasty he is, he is always early, doesn't skip his reservice, and doesn't chao keng at reservice. It probably shows that he is a responsible guy.

Anyway, I've got it as a goal to win him over since I have but to depend on him for 8 more months! I'll see him tonight and let's see how the progress will be!

acknowledgement

Reading the fantastic book by Norman Vincent Peale made me conceive this idea, of what I'm gonna start practicing soon.

The author had said of worrying and holding grudges and how they harm you, and I totally agree with it. We all know that if we get angry our blood boils and our blood pressure increases. That's no good to our body. In addition to that, chemicals get released into our body and our body takes damage. In addition to weakening your immunity system, you live a tiring life. I know how the drag of every day's life bores us, and as we get on with the monotony of life, we repeat our actions without thinking and get less and less personalized, without any sense of human undertones.

Every phone call to the service center to the agent is just statistics to complete his base call, there's no personalized part of it and you don't feel any better calling them for help. Many a day we don't recognize other efforts people do for us and we hold grudges for whatever little petty issues that happen to us, no wonder that the whole world seems against us!

I'm gonna try, to thank everyone for something they've done for me every shift. I know that they definitely will do something nice for me and I'm gonna acknowledge it. I'm going to let people know they feel appreciated and that I love them for who they are. I'm going to show love to everyone, so that in turn they will show love to me. And of this in work, I will not forget to show love to my everyday family members friends and girlfriend. I will seek to be the person others thirst to be beside since I am so encouraging and positive.

I believe I will find joy in doing so rather than holding grudges inside of me which I cannot release.

My Train Rides.

The book recommended by Donald Trump written by Vincent Norman Peale is absolutely amazing. The book name is The power of positive influence. The book is totally amazing. Despite the fact that I can barely recall the contents in it, I felt totally amazing while reading the book. It kept me feeling so high.

I often tell fellow partners that I live in Boon Keng area to which they inquire.. why? why so far still come Changi Airport? I don't know how to answer them the real reason behind that but I just tell them that it's because SB-A2 is fun.

I won't refute that I came primary because I wanted to get experience in coffee service and I wanted to learn and experience the stress of fucked-up customer which I just did and it made me feel really drained. I in fact treat the journey as a good thing. During this time, I get to catch up on lost sleep, just before reaching SB-A2 occasionally, and more importantly, do my reading and listening to my MP3. My music collection is only around 45 songs but they contain some of the best songs I appreciate.

Songs like ALONEZ, sen no yoru wo koete, You raise me up, and some other songs really boost my morale and make me feel wonderful. My songs are really meaningful to me. Some of them actually describe the ways to success, and sorts. When I sing the 2 japan songs I have it never fails to raise my morale. I guess I've it pretty anchored to good feeling.

I enjoy my journey there, and I enjoy listening to music while reading the books. Though sometimes I can't last through the long journey, I set timers so I won't miss train transfers. And SB-A2 has some wonderful people. People who really make me feel good are people like Ian, Fikri, Jackson, Danial, Charlene, Ariff. Seriously, sometimes I feel so glad I have them. The rest of the partners are just fantastic, always willing to help and even to include me into their groups. I'm new but I'm definitely welcomed there.

My journey to work definitely is worth it.

A barista's thoughts

Today was my first day with Starbucks and I did my in store training. As much as I tried to fulfil my 8 hours with much energy, I ended the last module rather lethargic. It was however obviously that I was paying much attention to it.

When it came to the role of busing, it was really easy task. I was quite competent in fulfilling the role and even managed to speed up some of the processes with much productivity. Then came the timing where Samsuri wanted to talk to us, and we gathered. After a brief AAR, he came to note the name on my green apron: Rani.

So I came to realise who Rani was. She was basically a Undergraduate who was with Starbucks before me. She resigned slightly before I did. She was only 3 weeks into the programme before she left. Her claim was that it was not befitting of her to do what O levels and Poly students could do. I rather much disagree. It's not the job you do that is speaking of that. To me, she'll never be of much greatness if she sees things that way. She decided to join Starbucks but couldn't follow through. What does this say of her character? Not too good I guess.

It's not the job that matters, It's not whether it's degrading or what. It's what you make out of the job that makes you a person of fine character or not. It's how you see yourself in the job. This applies to all jobs. All jobs at this level are basically similar. They are basically task that anyone can do. Being an assistant in a tour agency probably leaves you being the office helper, to buy drinks, photocopy, and meanwhile commanding a higher pay, does not have a higher status than being a barista or digging a hole. They require no thinking on your part. Until you reach a high enough position in the corporate ladder, all jobs are typically similar as in that they are rather repetitive. It's ultimately what you think of the job that describes its role and how you see it. For me, I see a deep opportunity to learn. Being in a barista position means that I have to be outspoken. This is good as my outgoing side is rather buried. This means I get to bring it out, to fulfil my role in the course of my job.

I am happy with my performance today. I have 3 goals in my career with Starbucks:

1. To do my best and become a better person and to learn and adopt a positive mindset.
   
2. To obtain a Black apron and be titled a coffee master within my 8 months with Starbucks.
3. To do my best and prove to Samsuri that I can qualify as a full-time barista before his promise of 2 months window period.
   

Being a Black Apron is by no means a easy task. Yet, ever since I have obtained knowledge of its existence, I have always wanted to get it. I thus will have to put in an extra effort into working for it. I have to find out more about how I can do so from people who have already done so.

Starbucks

It's my fourth day with Starbucks, and I love every moment of it.

Starbucks definitely is the best choice I've made. The pay no doubt is challenging, for it's only 3.50 now as I'm training, but I have no qualms as how much the company wants me to be successful. I simply love the culture and the training they have.

I'm exposed to 2 days of training of foundation groundwork, mostly about Starbucks culture and the work ethnic, and it is definitely worth every moment. Although somewhat boring, Starbucks is providing definitely quality training.

Issues like 5's be's, star skills of communication, Latte method, CDR, are all but some of the powerful methods taught to me. They focus on interpersonal relationships, and these are powerful examples, which can even be used in other areas outside of my work life. I seriously doubt that the training is as intense as any other coffee companies, or even renounced McDonald's.

I love how friendly everyone is on the floor, I love how I'm respected. I love how I'm treasured. I know I'm definitely given a chance, and should I screw up, I will be taught patiently and carefully, and not be left alone.

Their 3 star skills for example are these:

Maintain and enhance integrity
Ask for help
Listen and acknowledge

The one I wish to state with pride is the second on the list: Ask for help.

I won't forget, for my interview how Mr Samsuri asked me: " How able are you to learn from people younger than you, as some of the fellow partners are 2-3 years younger than you, but more experienced than you."

I gave a good answer, but I never knew why that question was important. In fact, the whole Starbucks culture is like this. We ask for help. There is not a manager or partner separation. We help one another. I could address Mr Samsuri as simply Samsuri if I wanted. But I respect him.

Starbucks is really a company I'm starting to love. Definitely, I'd want to be like Starbucks in whichever endeavours I finally end up in.

The interview.

On Monday, I went for a Starbucks Barista interview. Seeing that I had no prior work experience, the store manager offered me a part time job instead with a rather pathetic pay. I decided I'd take it as it is part of my goal.

This manage is a friendly person, and he does apply some of the things I think Starbucks trained him on. He actively listens, and makes his statements by replying some of the things I've said. He didn't pressure me and made me feel relaxed anyhow.

He asked some questions, and I gave him answers to the best of ability. They were pure honest answers, and I believe I hit a high point for answering it in that manner.

Towards the end, he phrased it this way. "I have a rather lame question that I always ask at the end of the interview, and it is, why do you think I should hire you, what is the one quality you possess that makes me need to hire you?"

No, I don't consider that question lame. If you can't sell yourself effectively, then why should the company even bother to employ you? If you can promise to deliver, why should the company add extra burden to its payroll? My answer was a bit unstable, but it was something like this: the quality is perseverance, is that my inability to give up even in times of deep shit. I'm always taught to took at the big picture as managing student council, we sometimes have to delegate our emotions to complete our jobs first; when we're stressed, the event still comes first. This sense of determination, I believe will help Starbucks, for I'm very willing to learn. This is rather because of a void in my younger moments, and a desperate need to fill it up. In fact, I'd gladly learn from people even younger than I am, for I regret not starting to work earlier.

That was my answer, and even as it wasn't smooth in delivery, as suddenly I realised, my greatest strength was more of willingness to learn, I made sure I maintained my stand.

I believe that the interview went totally well. I even treated myself to my favourite turkey bacon set meal in Burger King! I was quite glad, and even learn from the manager some tips to engage in conversations with customers. Those are but a whole precious lot.

Pondering back, I think I should have place more emphasis on the company, and what I could have provided for them. I spoke too much on what I have and what I can, but not of what I can do for the company. This will be learning experience, for the next time I go an interview, definitely not soon, I will impress the company so well, I'd have no qualms about getting the job.

Friendship

There are friends who stick with you because of need or because you provide benefits to them, and there are those who really stick to you, irregardless of what. Being the kind of person I am, I know it's not possible to be the latter to all friends. Firstly, it's too tiring, since that is not really natural, secondly, we all have ourselves first regardless of what. Most likely, sacrificing ourselves for our friends will occur when the pain of losing the friend hurts us more than losing whatever else.

That being so, a friend can only be true to one or 2 others. We can't be true friends who stick through thick and thin to everyone else. I've gave it some thought, and as of now, I can only visualise a few people whom I would give up myself to protect the friendship, mostly because they've first done something for me.

That is the true essence of a friend, though unnatural and takes courage. If you expect all of your friends to stand by you when you're in a pit, that would be wrong. Only the closest will be with you. However, having a true friend in need is good enough. You know you're impacted that someone who stood up for you if he does that for you.

Humans are selfish. I'm not sure what Mother Theresa had in mind when she worked with the sickest and abandoned children, but I believe, she also had personal reasons to do so: to serve god's will. Humans form relationships when they have to get together, to make their life easier, and as they separate, they become merely acquaintances. I hope this doesn't happen to some of my army mates, for I really treasure time with them together. What I do know is, it's possible to continue to forge relationships with them albeit unsuccessfully with them like I've experienced 4 times in a row. As we spilt, somehow I tend to be less forgiving, and we normally part with grudges within us. Yet, when we meet again, we shall forgive each other, and ready to progress on with our relationships if we put in just enough more effort. Sadly, that's not the case.

Give a man a fish

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

Chinese Proverb

As I am nearing my ORD, I can feel a sense of mixed feelings within me. I feel a sense of gladness that now, I'm able to start doing what I always wished to, to further improve myself, yet, I at the same time feel a sense of helplessness, as if the world now is too big and too difficult for me. The army has given me too many a fish.

I could do the worst job in army, and no matter what, get my small pay sum every month. Albeit little, I felt I could do anything myself with that small sum of money. Now, I know, I will not get the small sum of money anymore, and it's time to go for work. If I don't, I'll have no money.

There can be no more evil thing than feeding a man for free. There is no tamer animals than lions in cage in zoos. Overtime, they've lost their resourcefulness. They're used to being fed, doing nothing. Their children will expect the same treatment. So we practically got unnatural animals in our zoos. Give them ample freedom and get them to get their own food, and they're going to starve to death.

That is what I feel. That's why I'm afraid. That's because, for just a short period of 2 years, I've never thought about change, NEVER. I've never seen properly, what if this money expected and received due fully monthly will stop? I've stopped seeing and expecting change.

The only thing constant in life is change. Many a parables, and short stories have given excess insights to it. Go fish! Who moved my Cheese? are all a but a few books explaining the dangers of getting into expectations that nothing will change.

Why however am I afraid? If just 2 years of conditioning can make me have so much fear, I'm gonna forever be stuck the same way when I venture out in the business world, where once again, I'll be resistant to change. Yet change is not totally a bad thing. If there wasn't change of industries from the steel to the automobile to the electronics, would there be mass production of ipods for us today? Would cars be mass-manufactured? Would cars today be so cheaply obtained?

There can be no more danger than not expecting change and taking that stand all the way. It is more possible to catch a wise wild rabbit slowly step by step building a cage to lure it in than it is to catch it with a cage and a bait suddenly put there. Let me share with you this parable.

Once there was this wise rabbit living in the woods, which had caused problems to the nearby farmers. The farmers wanted to catch the rabbit, but however they tried, it was just too fast for them. They came together and discussed, and decided to build a cage to capture it. They finished the cage and left it there. Days passed and all this while, the wise rabbit kept still. It continued to ravage the crops but never once did it fall to the trap. Helpless, the farmers gave up and decided to look for a wise man. The wise man decided he was literally going to build a cage to capture the rabbit. The farmers looked at one another and told him that they tried it, and it wouldn't work. The wise man however knew what he was doing and stood his ground. He told the farmers to look and wait. The first day, he took a piece of wood and he drilled it to the ground. Beside the wood, he placed the carrots and greens lavishly. The wise rabbit was watching unknown to the farmers. He waited, days, and saw no activity. Tempted by greed and knowing that it was safe, he finally went forward to get the bite. Once the rabbit got out to the greens, the wise man prepared and the next day, he went forward to nail the second totem and the third each day, and soon, the cage was built. The rabbit all this while was led to believe that the wood pieces were just harmless. The day the cage was activated, the rabbit thinking that the cage was harmless, went in to get the greens, and just as the wise man expected, he was caught.

She without arm

A wonderful video I've just recieved from my girlfriend, make me ponder on a few issues:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnLVRQCjh8c

It's pretty obvious what is here. What is truly symbolic of a dare to face a sense of impossiblity. Can you do that if you were in their shoes? I'm not sure myself. I do however know, that is one of the most beautiful things I've seen, against all odds, to accomplish their goals. Like the woman, touched silently in the background, I too felt that agony, I felt I could see how much they've put in, how they've perserved.

Someone who've seen this video commented on this:

This lady was a dancer since young & had lost her arm a few years. Was asked to coach a kids dancing group & she realized she could not forget dancing. She heard a guy had lost a leg & she looked him up & persuaded him to dance with her. He reluctantly agreed as he had never danced & with one leg! She started to teach him & frustration broke them up a few times. Eventually they overcome it & started training. They hired a choreographer to design their routines & beat others in the competition.
-nemesuave

I do not know how valid is what he said. What I do know is, if ever so this is true, that is one of the greatest victories in life! Many a time in life, we stand in awe of what life has for us. We give in when slight troubles strike us. But, we must not forget, that only true demonstrations of faith and courage and ability to move on can be seen. Failures are dozen for a penny. What is truly touching, what truly makes us human, what truly gives us and makes us humans, are our ability to act against our animal instincts. We know what we have to do, and there shall be no way of stopping us. That is what truly makes us great.

I stand in this place, and declare my regret of what I lack that they demonstrate. Although I just failed in my driving test due to a recent test, and managed to get not discouraged but remain rather positive, I feel what I've accomplished dulls in comparison to what the couple has achieved. If I was ever in their shoes, I wonder if I can accomplish what they've achieved.

I know which way I have to go, and that surely might trail what they've trekked. But let us keep them in picture, of the agony the woman demonstrated in our hearts. With that in mind, let's face all roughs in life with the same attitude they put into dancing.

Procrastination

The recent me is feeling quite screwed-up. I've my finances to settle, I've my parents to settle, I've got issues on hand that's making me feel stressed.

As much as this is so, I've recently adopted a healthy lifestyle. I've started to do my runs consistently before dinner and I find that it helps, since I won't get to eat until I fulfil my running criteria. The regime has been on for 6 days, with one day where I missed out the run due to being busy with something else. This is by far, the most successful exercise regime I've ever come up with.

When I did the first few runs, It'd always kill me. It would be only 5 mins into the run and I've already started feeling the sense of inability to continue. From here, I learnt about how important procrastination is.

Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense
- Winston Churchill

In a normal sense, procrastination is totally negative. You won't want to have this quality. If you're meant to meet a friend and you've procrastinated, you're gonna be late. If you're meant to make a sales call and you stop, you've lost valuable commission. I think that procrastination is deep within me and trying to defy it's existance is totally impossible.

Never give up, never give in, and when the upper hand is ours, may we have the ability to handle the win with the dignity that we absorbed the loss.
- Doug Williams

Why not view it from a different facade? If procrastination harms your productivity, put it into another area for it to do it's work for you. You'll see what I mean. Throughout the run, I had stitches, chest pains, muscle ache, anything could happen while running. Despite that and a few months of no conditioning, I could do a 30 min run at a go without stopping at a decent speed. Keep in mind that I started feeling pangs of giving up, 5 minutes into the run.

The man who wins may have been counted out several times,
but he didn’t hear the referee.
Never quit or give up….never…..never give up.
- H.E. Janson

I knew that the run would last 30 mins. Despite telling myself that I'd just need to endure another 25 mins, it didn't work. Challenging myself to the fact that I'm not as weak as that just made the run more torturing. The key is procrastination here. Everytime I wanted to give up, I just delayed giving up. Delay for one more minute covers more distance and ends up making me closer to the goal. In the end I completed a run I would otherwise have not completed and feel a sense of accomplishment within myself.

Remember:

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
- Calvin Coolidge