Stand up for yourself

You can stick with the team, you can do anything, and when the time is up for you to vote someone out, you're always wrong if you cannot make a decision. You lose if you cannot stand up for yourself.

In all the seasons of The Apprentice, we've seen numerous strong people get voted out at the end of the date, all due to the fact that they did not defend themselves. They ended up cursing why everyone was against them. You may not be the best case, but you definitely won't stand a chance if you don't even defend yourself.

A heart to heart talk with a friend, someone who finally I can call a really close friend, would be Brandon, all the way from primary school. Our relationship was a On-off one, and I was never truly fond of him based on a few early impressions. It was this talk with him that I went to his level and understood him and his well-meaning actions.

We shared a lot, and I realised quite a bit. At the end of the day, One key lesson would be to protect yourself. Do not take the brunt of bullshit people give you. Deflect them back at them if they are not justified.

I had a lonely and unhealthy early school years because I had not defended myself. I take no credit off the fact that it made me the person I am today, with full knowledge and want to cover up those flaws, but in hindsight, I now know what I can do to make myself a better person.

I have to defend myself.

"Who will stand up for you if you cannot even stand up for yourself?" Donald Trump

I want you in a meeting by 8 hours(SAF mobilisation)

I have been pushing myself really hard. Although, my final income output is not really any much higher, I tend to see it as a desperate attempt to better improve myself. To some extent, I have gained new insights into the other side of our fellow citizens from Singapore.

Though it might be generalizing, I personally find most Malays to be more carefree and not so bothered about work. They tend to take things easily and handle issues when they occur. Since that style of working method isn't really what I adopt, we more than often tend to clash.

A team leader of mine may have been thinking of something else, but imagine my chagrin when he informed me "politely" that there would be a team meeting the next exact day on 8am, at 12am, exactly 8 hours away. He claimed to have announced it during the earlier meeting which I could not attend due to work. I did try my best to question information from my fellow teammates and him, of which nothing came out.

I was in the midst of celebrating my dad's birthday party when some bits of anger slipped through my gatekeeper. They soon realized what was happening and advised me accordingly.

"Just tell him no, how can he inform you this way and at this hour?"

I wasn't myself sure to go or not. On one hand, I wanted, since the team has a rather awful way of handling the absentee, which most of the time would be me, which is to seal any information from the absentee himself. Any method of prying information would be futile and a waste of human resources. Yet, on the other hand, I was pissed. Why are they always doing things this way?

I decided I would not go. In fact, it changed the way I look at things to some small extent. I am always helpful, to some extent, short-changing myself to help others. This Thursday would be one. I have decided against it. I will no longer help for the sake of helping but stop to think, what's in it for me? By helping, is it worthwhile in terms of money? Will I be helping someone who would repay that effort? Would that person respect me for that? Would it be balanced in terms of monetary and human favors and to myself and my GIRLFRIEND?

I will fulfill my Thursday task which will be cleaning up of my store after 2 shifts of work. directly without rest without break. I've promised and that will be something I will keep. For the rest of them, I'm not really sure if they'd really keep their promises with that holy righteousness.

From now on, I will evaluate and think, and start defending for myself, and my rights. I've always wanted to convenience someone, my boss, my colleagues, my friends. I've always left out myself, my family and my girlfriend. We shall see about the current schedule. For the next next week, I shall plan my break for my girlfriend first, my boss and others can wait. I'm not lacking the money to this extent that I will short-change myself.

And oh, by the way, I kept my message reply short and sweet, no sugar-coating since it doesn't work.

"I'm sorry. I have planned a meeting with another friend. Please inform me earlier next time."

His reply was this: "ohh its okay. We'll get you involved. Sorry"

I am sure he did not meant a single bit of sorry that of which he had said.

Although they say, to respect someone before they can respect you, I'm sure I don't really care if I earn his respect, not when he keeps telling me the fact he can't recall something I said, cause "he doesn't remember unimportant things". I see how respected I am for saying unimportant things. I'm sorry.

Broken window theory

As I've been really having long working days and hours juggling 2 jobs, I've not been able to stay awake reading my books and sorts for quite a while. However on reading the tipping point, it managed to captivate my attention and I was able to read on.

The book is highly insightful and interesting. One of the theories it put to explain for high-crime rate was that the streets was highly defaced. Crimes are different from intentions. Intentions are easy while crimes take quite abit of commitment to actually do it. The doer would also put himself into a personal peril. So why was crime rate that high?

The proposed theory was a broken window theory where "a house with a single broken window would have a higher chance of getting vandalised and having another window broken than a house which looks new".

The crime rate was solved not by hard handled measures nor employing more enforcers. It was solved by making sure that the "broken window" was immediately fixed. The floors were ensured to be tidy, vandalism cleared, and order restored to the smallest detail. In addition, small crimes were no longer ignored and was given heavier penalty. The result was fantastic.

It somehow seems to also explain alot of human to human interactions and behaviour.
Why would a wedding dinner always start late?
Why would a friend be consistently late for an outing together?
Why would a class skip lessons of a teacher together despite possible punishment?

Ten cents? Nah.

Ten cents mean a lot to me. My team was having a meeting together and we were wondering how to get more volume for our weekly coffee tasting. When we finally decided that the reason was that it was not catchy enough, we wanted colour printouts, and not the dull black and white copies our store could produce. I was in charge of that and the team wanted me to print it. They wanted me to pay for it. "It's only ten-cents"

I was pissed. Not only was my idea not taken at many intervals after so many unnecessary times, they made me feel like I can't even spend ten cents. I reasoned to myself, I'm here to earn money, not to contribute to society because I'm too embarrassed or unable to claim.

I could have confronted them and make a strong suit about how I wouldn't pay it no matter how they forced me but I thought otherwise. It did bug me even though.

Along the way, I was fuming. Who are they to say that? I really wanted to tell them, of the extent I go just to save ten cents, and then here they are, telling me, it's only ten cents.. you mean you can't afford it?

A ride from my station to the airport direct is $1.70 in terms of fare and easily takes 1hr and 10 mins maximum. A ride with a transfer would probably take 45 mins maximum and cost $1.81. If I am not in a rush, I would take the former. Now tell me the difference for the extra 25 mins of journey.

I see every bit of money as important to me and I try very hard to limit my expenditure. I really wanted to blast out at them then(it's my life values being attacked and challenged), but I recognised being professional and kept it to myself.

Finally I realised what I should have said instead. Hey guys, I know it's only 10cents, but I'm really tight and every cent matters a lot to me, so I can't really print it in full colour. You all okay with my other suggestion on using the store printer?

I think it would be much better than the silence I caused trying to ignore that particular comment/

Starbucks' culture

I love working for Starbucks, even though I hate the pay. There's one thing that makes working in Starbucks a very pleasant one and that is how they do not contradict the culture they are trying to cultivate. In a few companies, salespeople are told to collaborate only to have the company rate their promotions chances based on their sales, which literally tears them apart. Such kind of contradiction is not one I can find in SB.

SB is about putting partners above customers, and just saying yes to all customer needs as much as we can. We are probably talking about service to customers more than profit.

The first part is easily exemplified by this example. What would you think a wine company would do if the promoter breaks a bottle of wine? Would he be forced to pay? Would he be black listed? Just the other day, I was handling food and due to my carelessness, I dropped a tray of muffins. There were a total of 9 in there with a total cost of $27 to be. I wasted company funds of that amount. I was definitely regretful and it was done in front of my fellow partners and managers. They probably knew that it wasn't on purpose and they did not make a fuss of it nor ask me to pay for it though the wastage was all due to my one person's carelessness. To me, they understood how by making me feel degraded, I would have less performance and be unable to deliver the Starbucks experience.

At POS areas, where cash comes in and out, shortages are not a uncommon things. I still remember from a friend that at NTUC, if the cashier cashes in the wrong sum, she would pay the shortfall. Not at SB. Once I had a shortfall of $4, due to some slight confusion and they accepted it, and never did once bring it up to me. Imagine if they would argue penny for penny and I would have worked almost and hour free labour. You would think I will never do POS ever again.

SB emphasis is on providing legendary customer service. Just today, a single customer argued that both her drink would be a grande size and we were rather confused since the order was called out differently. When I asked to see her receipt, I noticed that she was wrong and that a grande size would cost her more. I immediately asked to change her drink for her to her requested size and I made her happy and she smiled before leaving even though I could argue that she place the wrong order. Was I punished for giving the wrong drink? Did I have to pay for the wrong drink? No. SB puts its responsibility on its partners and being empowered, we can do good to fulfil SB's aims.

I wouldn't have noticed this if not from a news about $1 coffees in selected stores in Seattle. Note that in all other SB's there would not be this promotion, and definitely not in Singapore. What hit me was that if a customer insist on that cup, we would "just say yes" and give that cup free to the customer. That really brought me thinking and I realised how the whole culture of SB is suitable for itself and doesn't back stab its self. I feel fortunate working in SB.

Lessons from The Apprentice

I have been watching The Apprentice quite abit after the introduction to it by a friend a while back. I'm starting to like it as I get to see people and people's interaction and the possible conflicts and then when they get interviewed, the parties normally let out all they can. It's probably identical to how we all function when we get projects.

We may get uncomfortable with how the person says or does something but we keep it under control thinking that it's no use letting out all steam and pretty soon it becomes difficult working with one another.

When troubles come, I've always thought that thrashing things out would be a good way to solve it, but from the way the show depicts it, it doesn't seem to help. One party will be less outspoken and will be shadowed and he or she will not feel that she had been thoroughly understood. Problems will still continue to ensue.

When we have conflicts with a single person who is the source of all negativity, normally, the team leader has a role to do something about it. He will pull the person aside and try to get things clear so that conflicts will happen in less occurrences. Apparently one less outspoken person did just that. He was the project manager and he pulled out one negativity king and tried to set things clear. I realised that for him, that didn't seem to work. He however, never sought to understand the other party's viewpoint.

I do realised that in a team setting, delicate balance is needed. Talk too much or contribute consistently to no good ideas, and you're out. Be too quiet and contribute not enough, and you're out. Be uneasy around and unnatural around people you work with, and you're not going to last. One setback may lead the team to always set you aside, and you will be made to feel unwanted. At least, that's what one team did to a non-stop blabbering and non-producing guy.

Sometimes people have hidden agendas in doing something. For example, Marshawn had not wanted to put on the costume and she thought that failing to present well might lead her to be fired, and that's a valid point. That however was not known to the team. The team thought she gave up on them, and she quickly got fired. When asked to justify all that, and why she refused her duty, all she said was crap. The real meaning of all that calculated acts was never revealed, pretty similar to how some people seem difficult but they would never seriously and truthfully tell you why. They definitely have something to do in them, but they would never tell you.

Steve Jobs

I've been reading a book named iCON which is about Steve Jobs. Steve Jobs is a founder of Apple which started Ipod, Itunes, etc and I find the way he works amazing, irritating and immoral.

According to the book, Steve had an uncanning ability to inspire and he is a master of impossible goals. In one incident, he came into the room, threw down a telephone book and insisted that the technicians came up with one design similar size to the phone book and he set a deadline of a year, when no hardware or software for that computer was already available. Although impossible, they eventually made the timing.

Steve was immoral. He severely overworked his employees. He declared under cheers of his fellow employees this: Working 90 hour weeks and loving it! You'd expect that employees under him would have high pay and benefits to keep them going in this manner. You'd be wrong if you thought that Steve was fair. Apparently some of the supervisors had lower pay than those new-comers who came in later. He denied stock options, which gave ownership to the employees to people who helped to make Apple a success, and alot of totally selfish decisions. How did he then manage to keep them working when they weren't getting paid? He had a definite charisma. He could seduce them into his way of thinking and be so involved in it that they for a period of time wouldn't take so much notice about their paid and other results. Nevertheless, you can imagine the roar they created when they found out the truth.

Steve had a unsatisfiable need to be important. Although the founding people were Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs, and an array of smaller people, when Apple became successful, he took almost all the credit even as he created many problems through his stubbornness and solving few. His personal Macintosh team was so disgusted by the way they were not even recognised that in years to come, only a handful stayed under him.

Yet, if you read how Donald Trump depicted his way of dealing, and qualified himself as a master dealer even to write, The Art Of Deal, you'd realised that Steve Jobs unruly methodologies made Donald pale in sheer comparison. When Apple was still new, they couldn't afford their own storage and had to store it on an external company's storage. One day, the data crashed and all was gone. They had to choose between an old backup or starting afresh. They chose the latter. They requested the company to replace with the old backup to which the company refused. The rationale was that they had been late in payments. Steve being the way he was promised to pay on one condition; which was if the head came over and collected the payment himself. The head didn't want to, but it was the only way to recover payment. Steve managed to convince the head to put up the old backup before coming over.

The team hurried to download the file, and when the head came, Steve refused to pay. He was now no longer dependent on the head. The head had no choice but to return empty handed and fuming.

I know more from what I've read from the book, but the methods Steve employed are simply beyond what I can do. Yet, I look at Steve, on the side of his determination, his charisma and even his gut feelings of doing things. You'd need to be an absolute cushion to be able to work with him.

Bus Uncle

Sometimes I have shifts from 4 pm to 1 am the next morning, and one would be wondering, if so, how the hell do you get home? I got home at 2.30 am yesterday and slept soon after. The pending question is still, how do I get home actually?

Starbucks Changi Airport actually caters a van to bring all of us partners home. Even if you live in Woodlands, you'll get sent home. Obviously, there is a driver for a van will not be able to move without one. Let's call this driver Uncle.

I have met this uncle 2 times. I do not know if he likes me, but I do know he says nasty things. The first time when I took the van, I was virtually running up and down looking for the van since I didn't know if he was the one. Although I was wearing the Starbucks shirt, he made no attempt to tell me he was the one, but that's okay, since no one would want to be embarrassed if I was not that one. Later he made a rather interesting comment. It goes something like this, translated: I was wondering which idiot was running up and down. So much for being welcoming as Starbucks always emphasized. It didn't affect me and I made a few attempts to converse with him, always with him replying reluctantly. I gave up and sat quietly waiting to approach my home only to have him tell me about how reluctant he is to bring me all the way in and how if I'm not a girl so he won't do it for me the next time round. Well, point noted.

So here comes the next day, and I get to sit on this vehicle and my friend happen to ask me where to. I said Boon Keng and that triggered him. He said my house was at Towner road, and not Boon Keng, Mcnair rD(that's my address btw) or Bendemeer, nor Little India. He also added in that I'm a dumb and stupid person who doesn't even know where I lived. I took it easily as I sort of expected shit from him, but I did one thing wrong. I corrected him that my house road is at Mcnair. I shouldn't have done that. It didn't make an impact on him. He probably didn't want to hear it and didn't hear it. The rest of the journey was long before I reached my area and I left. Prior to this, he commented on my closing of this van door as too light and I sort of closed it with a harder impact probably leaving wrinkles on his face as he grimaced in what seemed like eternal pain to him. I swear it wasn't calculated beforehand. I even thanked him and said good night to him which he ignored.

Which I am happy for it didn't affect me whatever nasty things he said. I took it as he is like that. I went thinking about this phrase which I recalled, that anyone has enough good points which are probably hidden by their cool or rugged outlook. I started to think of what good point he had and I came to one.

Believe it or not, no matter how nasty he is, he is always early, doesn't skip his reservice, and doesn't chao keng at reservice. It probably shows that he is a responsible guy.

Anyway, I've got it as a goal to win him over since I have but to depend on him for 8 more months! I'll see him tonight and let's see how the progress will be!

About running

It has been almost a month since I've started running 5km daily, and thankfully I've quite the achieved that goal. It's not easy to motivate yourself to run daily, when you've all sorts of crap happening: 1 hr before you'll be late for work, a delay in waking hour, feeling just plain tired, and even because I'll be out the whole day. Generally speaking, I find running best before I go to work and I totally abhor running during evening times.

Let's say I've work to start at 8am-6pm, and my work place is at Changi, approximately 1hr 10 mins away. I got to leave my house at 6.40am and I'll probably reach home at 7.20pm. When do you think is a better time to run?

IT seems obvious that after work would be better. But, I hate to do so. In fact I don't get to go home on times, sometimes I'll probably leave the airport later at 6.30pm. When I reach home at 7.50pm, I'll eat my dinner and guess what? I can't run immediately and I'll forgo running. I would rather wake at 5.30 to do my run. Assuming I wake so early, I'll be able to have my breakfast, run and read my papers before I leave my house. I can then go on to have an enjoyable day ahead.

But why do I run everyday? How can I get the motivation to run? I run everyday not for reason like slimming down or becoming fit primarily. To me, they are secondary reasons, and reasons that will not be strong enough to keep me running my dailies. I run because I have to. I have an organizer where every day, I have to fulfill 4 thing s. They are Book, News, Run, Quiet time. These are 4 things I make myself go through every day. I don't have a chance to not run, so while I can, I just go forward and run.

Additionally, I don't believe that I should be motivated to run. Motivation doesn't come before action. When you work for your pay, does your boss give you it before your month of work ends? Or is it otherwise? In respect, motivation comes when you take consistent action in to fulfill what you have to.

Recently, however, I get cramps 1/2 way into the runs. I get it around 15mins + and it makes it painful to continue. I've always thought it was due to improper stretching or my strides being too small, but I just found out during today's run that it should be just psychological. When I keep my mind off the cramp and think of things like work or even merely my performance of the game of DOTA just before, the cramp disappears. I guess I'll think of ways to keep myself occupied so I won't think of creating cramps in my legs :)

Momentum

Momentum to win.

I just finished reading a book by Donal Trump titled Trump 101. In one of the chapters, there was this anecdote that happened to him:

William Levitt was a master builder of Levittown and was literally the king of 1950s. He would literally come up with new projects and made a lot of money on them. Finally he decided that he would sell his company and he did, to ITT for 100 millions. Then he made some terrible mistakes.

He retired.
He married the wrong woman.

Then ITT called. The executives of the company couldn't handle the company. They had bought some new land and didn't know some details like zoning so they sold it back to Levitt who thought he got a good deal. He went back to business and proceeded to go bankrupt.

Donald saw him at a cocktail party in 1994. He was alone in a corner looking defeated. Even though Donald didn't know him well, he went forward and greeted him,"Mr Levitt, how are you doing?"

"Not good, Donald, not good." Then he said,"I lost my momentum. I was out of the world for 20 years, I came back and I wasn't the same."

I have little business experience hands on, but from what I've read, running a business is same as anything else in life. To begin a business, it take courage to overcome the inertia, and it proceeds slowly in terms of turnover, before exponential results return. I think that exercise would be a good comparison.

When you first start running, your legs are barely warmed up. You feel like quitting even before you've started. You feel like giving up. This is the inertia we experience. We can't procrastinate and stop running, so we go on. Few minutes into the run, our legs start to warm up and we're able to maintain the run without much difficulty. Then adrenaline comes into our body and we feel the power and our exponential results come where we can increase our speed easily without feeling very tired. Then as our stamina drops, we feel tired and we slow down. If we can't take it anymore, and we start walking, our momentum is broken. If we start again, it'll be the hardest thing possible in life, and we will stop again soon even we've just started.

Momentum is that important. I believe that is also the reason why we're often told to have only one goal in our life at any one time. Have too many targets on the list and you'll waste time deciding which to shoot. Besides, you'll lose the momentum you might otherwise have as an ally if you persist and complete one before embarking on another.

At one point of time, where I was in a networking company called NTI, I couldn't produce results. The basis was simple. I'd just need to call and close the sale. But I couldn't. I was fearful of rejections and I push aside everything related to it. My reason for being there was to make money, but I decided to pursue everything else. I made sure I practiced public speaking, eliminating fillers, make new friends, read new books, all but forgetting purposely to make those calls. I could never get a single sale, and the reason was pretty obvious. Out of fear I threw aside what was most important to do, and did everything else not so important. There was no focus, and I never really accomplished much.

But I now understand the importance of focus, and when I attempt something, I try to make it my priority. I make sure I follow through one thing before another. Once I'm done with it, then do I go down the list and do the next solely, complete it and then move on.

Starbucks

It's my fourth day with Starbucks, and I love every moment of it.

Starbucks definitely is the best choice I've made. The pay no doubt is challenging, for it's only 3.50 now as I'm training, but I have no qualms as how much the company wants me to be successful. I simply love the culture and the training they have.

I'm exposed to 2 days of training of foundation groundwork, mostly about Starbucks culture and the work ethnic, and it is definitely worth every moment. Although somewhat boring, Starbucks is providing definitely quality training.

Issues like 5's be's, star skills of communication, Latte method, CDR, are all but some of the powerful methods taught to me. They focus on interpersonal relationships, and these are powerful examples, which can even be used in other areas outside of my work life. I seriously doubt that the training is as intense as any other coffee companies, or even renounced McDonald's.

I love how friendly everyone is on the floor, I love how I'm respected. I love how I'm treasured. I know I'm definitely given a chance, and should I screw up, I will be taught patiently and carefully, and not be left alone.

Their 3 star skills for example are these:

Maintain and enhance integrity
Ask for help
Listen and acknowledge

The one I wish to state with pride is the second on the list: Ask for help.

I won't forget, for my interview how Mr Samsuri asked me: " How able are you to learn from people younger than you, as some of the fellow partners are 2-3 years younger than you, but more experienced than you."

I gave a good answer, but I never knew why that question was important. In fact, the whole Starbucks culture is like this. We ask for help. There is not a manager or partner separation. We help one another. I could address Mr Samsuri as simply Samsuri if I wanted. But I respect him.

Starbucks is really a company I'm starting to love. Definitely, I'd want to be like Starbucks in whichever endeavours I finally end up in.

The interview.

On Monday, I went for a Starbucks Barista interview. Seeing that I had no prior work experience, the store manager offered me a part time job instead with a rather pathetic pay. I decided I'd take it as it is part of my goal.

This manage is a friendly person, and he does apply some of the things I think Starbucks trained him on. He actively listens, and makes his statements by replying some of the things I've said. He didn't pressure me and made me feel relaxed anyhow.

He asked some questions, and I gave him answers to the best of ability. They were pure honest answers, and I believe I hit a high point for answering it in that manner.

Towards the end, he phrased it this way. "I have a rather lame question that I always ask at the end of the interview, and it is, why do you think I should hire you, what is the one quality you possess that makes me need to hire you?"

No, I don't consider that question lame. If you can't sell yourself effectively, then why should the company even bother to employ you? If you can promise to deliver, why should the company add extra burden to its payroll? My answer was a bit unstable, but it was something like this: the quality is perseverance, is that my inability to give up even in times of deep shit. I'm always taught to took at the big picture as managing student council, we sometimes have to delegate our emotions to complete our jobs first; when we're stressed, the event still comes first. This sense of determination, I believe will help Starbucks, for I'm very willing to learn. This is rather because of a void in my younger moments, and a desperate need to fill it up. In fact, I'd gladly learn from people even younger than I am, for I regret not starting to work earlier.

That was my answer, and even as it wasn't smooth in delivery, as suddenly I realised, my greatest strength was more of willingness to learn, I made sure I maintained my stand.

I believe that the interview went totally well. I even treated myself to my favourite turkey bacon set meal in Burger King! I was quite glad, and even learn from the manager some tips to engage in conversations with customers. Those are but a whole precious lot.

Pondering back, I think I should have place more emphasis on the company, and what I could have provided for them. I spoke too much on what I have and what I can, but not of what I can do for the company. This will be learning experience, for the next time I go an interview, definitely not soon, I will impress the company so well, I'd have no qualms about getting the job.

She without arm

A wonderful video I've just recieved from my girlfriend, make me ponder on a few issues:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnLVRQCjh8c

It's pretty obvious what is here. What is truly symbolic of a dare to face a sense of impossiblity. Can you do that if you were in their shoes? I'm not sure myself. I do however know, that is one of the most beautiful things I've seen, against all odds, to accomplish their goals. Like the woman, touched silently in the background, I too felt that agony, I felt I could see how much they've put in, how they've perserved.

Someone who've seen this video commented on this:

This lady was a dancer since young & had lost her arm a few years. Was asked to coach a kids dancing group & she realized she could not forget dancing. She heard a guy had lost a leg & she looked him up & persuaded him to dance with her. He reluctantly agreed as he had never danced & with one leg! She started to teach him & frustration broke them up a few times. Eventually they overcome it & started training. They hired a choreographer to design their routines & beat others in the competition.
-nemesuave

I do not know how valid is what he said. What I do know is, if ever so this is true, that is one of the greatest victories in life! Many a time in life, we stand in awe of what life has for us. We give in when slight troubles strike us. But, we must not forget, that only true demonstrations of faith and courage and ability to move on can be seen. Failures are dozen for a penny. What is truly touching, what truly makes us human, what truly gives us and makes us humans, are our ability to act against our animal instincts. We know what we have to do, and there shall be no way of stopping us. That is what truly makes us great.

I stand in this place, and declare my regret of what I lack that they demonstrate. Although I just failed in my driving test due to a recent test, and managed to get not discouraged but remain rather positive, I feel what I've accomplished dulls in comparison to what the couple has achieved. If I was ever in their shoes, I wonder if I can accomplish what they've achieved.

I know which way I have to go, and that surely might trail what they've trekked. But let us keep them in picture, of the agony the woman demonstrated in our hearts. With that in mind, let's face all roughs in life with the same attitude they put into dancing.

Motivation

Motivation comes after action.
-Zig Ziglar

Often, we hear people give excuses, I planned to exercise the whole week, but now I'm too hungry, I guess I'll start after my dinner. After dinner, I'm too full to run, I'll rest a bit. While resting, it started raining, and that spoils my plan totally. I really planned to run. I guess I'll do it tomorrow. And tomorrow never comes.

The problem isn't that you're too hungry full or if it's raining or if there's a fire next block. The primary reason is a lack of motivation. Motivation, however does not come easy. There will be no motivation, before some action is taken. During a run, The starting part is the hardest, with the continuing part becoming more pleasurable and easier. Wanting to run does not cause your body to release endorphins, which make your run less painful. It's only after you started running do your body start releasing these pain-killers.

As there is momentum to a moving object, things get easier while they are moving and the starting is really the hardest, called inertia. So never complain when it's difficult to start, that someone should motivate you. No one is able to. You have to get started before you'll feel some sense of motivation.

You don't pay the price for success, you pay for the price of failure.
-Zig Ziglar

That is indeed true. You don't pay the price for success. You enjoy the fruit of success, but you pay the price of failure, if you fail to attain your goal. When you want to have a healthy lifestyle and you embrace a plan to work towards it, you don't pay the price and pain of having to run everyday. You enjoy days without feeling ill and increased alertness and productivity. When you fail to keep fit, you pay the price of suffering from illness.

There is a reason why people always fail to attain their goal. They believe that nothing in the world is free. In order to get something, you have to give up something, which is thus the reason why you pay the price. In that kind of minimalist thinking, there is not enough for everybody, everyone has to fight for their small share of the prize. That is not true. Think big. Think abundance. Instead of fighting where you think is limited, why not seek out "Blue Oceans" places, where no competition is, and make your own share as you define it. Just for example, money is not limited. However, people tend to think of it as limited and hence the thinking that I have only so many ways to go about earning it. In an event I'm tight for cash, and I have no other way out, there would only be these many ways to get money; robbing someone of their earning or other deprivation methods to get money from others. Why not think about creating your own share?

Know the company The Body Shop? Founded by Anita Rodrick, it was only an attempt by a mum trying to earn money to support her child to go to school. Had she see it as a minimalist, for her t o have money, someone must lose it, would we get to enjoy the fragrant shower foam made purely of natural materials?

Being too comfortable

There are a lot of reasons we settle, and sometimes they're good reasons, at least temporarily. Many of us need to remind ourselves that perfection is an unachievable goal. For instance, its perfectly acceptable to settle for less-than-perfect when venturing into a new business or offering a new product or service. If we wait until everything is just right, we may never get our ideas off the ground.

The problem comes when we forget that this settling was temporary, and that we had something big planned for the future. We get stuck in our settlement, and cant find our way out.

http://www.slowdownfast.com/blog/imperfection-is-inevitable-but-pain-is-optional-temporarily-settling-for-second-best/

Settling is a necessity of life. Just as you cannot afford to purchase a BMW straight-away, you might consider a Toyota while you wait till your finances become better. Just as you cannot reach for the sky immediately, you have to take a step at a time. That's when the most difficult time comes. Personal contentment and inertia keep us where we are, mediocrity happens and complacency occurs to us who have accomplished nothing.

Long have quotes talk about daydreaming, and most have warned us against building sand-castles in the air. It is not about daydreaming that is dangerous, it is more of inaction that is fatal. Can sandcastles be build in air? Haven't skyscrapers already accomplished that? Rather than go around thinking about why not, think about how you can do it. Negative thinking poisons your mind and keeps your abilities limited.

When a great team loses through complacency, it will constantly search for new and more intricate explanations to explain away defeat.”

-Pat Riley

One fruit that occurs through inaction is complacency. Complacency is the belief that you're there when in reality you're nowhere close. When the object in discussion is of heavy weight, excuses would be made to lessen the pain on oneself that the fault was actually with the person in question.

Rather than let complacency poison our mind and keep us satisfied, we be more open to new ideas and keep a look out on what's changing in the world. "There is nothing in the world more constant as change" a wise man once said. How true is it. How many new inventions have been in place that were not here 20 years ago? Take the camera handphone. Had NOKIA kept itself secluded and unable to change, would its famous non-camera non-colour phones match up or would it more likely lose its market share to the innovator Samsung?

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world.
-Joel A. Barker

One of my blog's friends commented that the man who died, is the man who thought he could.. and that is not wrong. In fact, it reminded me about something. Pure action will not bring you anywhere. An example that can easily be seen will be observed in the workplace. There are a few people who always look busy, walk around alot, always unable to stop to chat and forever thought as hardworking. But at the end of the day, their stack of papers on their desk will forever remain the same, forever filled.

There was a farmer who had a donkey that was the most lazy you have ever seen! No amount of beating would lure it to do it's work. The poor farmer finally asked a sage and he was told to attach a carrot in sight but out of reach of the donkey so it would keep going and he did just that. The trick worked and the donkey kept going on and on. It never gave up, and it soon worked itself to it's death, but it never got its carrot.

There is a difference between activity and directed action. Purely doing something will not bring you where you want. You got to know what you want and work towards it. That's no wonder why the man who died would be the man who thought he could, for he never gave his destination some thought.

Procrastination

The recent me is feeling quite screwed-up. I've my finances to settle, I've my parents to settle, I've got issues on hand that's making me feel stressed.

As much as this is so, I've recently adopted a healthy lifestyle. I've started to do my runs consistently before dinner and I find that it helps, since I won't get to eat until I fulfil my running criteria. The regime has been on for 6 days, with one day where I missed out the run due to being busy with something else. This is by far, the most successful exercise regime I've ever come up with.

When I did the first few runs, It'd always kill me. It would be only 5 mins into the run and I've already started feeling the sense of inability to continue. From here, I learnt about how important procrastination is.

Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense
- Winston Churchill

In a normal sense, procrastination is totally negative. You won't want to have this quality. If you're meant to meet a friend and you've procrastinated, you're gonna be late. If you're meant to make a sales call and you stop, you've lost valuable commission. I think that procrastination is deep within me and trying to defy it's existance is totally impossible.

Never give up, never give in, and when the upper hand is ours, may we have the ability to handle the win with the dignity that we absorbed the loss.
- Doug Williams

Why not view it from a different facade? If procrastination harms your productivity, put it into another area for it to do it's work for you. You'll see what I mean. Throughout the run, I had stitches, chest pains, muscle ache, anything could happen while running. Despite that and a few months of no conditioning, I could do a 30 min run at a go without stopping at a decent speed. Keep in mind that I started feeling pangs of giving up, 5 minutes into the run.

The man who wins may have been counted out several times,
but he didn’t hear the referee.
Never quit or give up….never…..never give up.
- H.E. Janson

I knew that the run would last 30 mins. Despite telling myself that I'd just need to endure another 25 mins, it didn't work. Challenging myself to the fact that I'm not as weak as that just made the run more torturing. The key is procrastination here. Everytime I wanted to give up, I just delayed giving up. Delay for one more minute covers more distance and ends up making me closer to the goal. In the end I completed a run I would otherwise have not completed and feel a sense of accomplishment within myself.

Remember:

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
- Calvin Coolidge

Contributing noises

I sometimes come to the thought that I'm just contributing noise, meaning, I speak what I want, No one hears or is willing to hear and no one benefits from that. As such, I've come to a school of thought that I should control my own speeches.

When will I feel that? When I argue over facts with a friend, I tend to get overexcited, ignoring if he or she cares. when I play online games, I tend to type what I want to type, ignoring what else is going on. As a result, I confirmed more that, when people talk, they can't listen; as a result, they contribute nothing when they speak.

When you feel so strongly about an idea, which in fact might be wrong, you defend it as if it's your identity. You will not back down when others over eagerly want to correct you and this has 2 meanings to me. If you are the one feeling strongly about the wrong idea, why not let your friend correct you? He'll be glad and you'll get something new. And if you're the friend correcting, think if correcting them would help the situation. Would the guy want to be corrected? Probably not, so just let him continue to err, if it doesn't hurt anyone.

Examples are like; Your friend is a team leader, and you realises that a particular detail of when to meet is given wrongly. The rest of the team has already the correct detail, and no one is taking down notes or listening intently, should you correct him? I beg not to. Firstly, you put him in a spot difficult for him to get down the stage, and secondly, it's not like anyone benefits to know, since no one is attentive enough. They'll follow their memory anyway.

Let's say you are talking about eating healthy food and the topic suddenly digressed to cucumbers being unhealthy. You are for cucumbers being healthy food while your friend refuses to accept, and says that it's not. Deep in you, you are not sure, but you've heard someone say that cucumbers are healthy. You don't want to lose this argument, so what will you do? I'll start from analysing how helpful it'll be for you to win your friend's POV. Winning, as in convincing your friend either forcibly until he has nothing to say or convincing until he agrees, is no big deal. Your friend won't die from not knowing that cucumbers are healthy and he won't enjoy benefits from knowing that, and worst still, he doesn't want to know that he is wrong! So, logically speaking, You should let your friend win by stepping down so he can reinforce his case.

These are just my thoughts. Everyone has a fixed set of beliefs and everyone treats them like their identity. They do not care if they are doing the wrong thing or knowing the wrong thing. They know it's their identity and they will feel threatened if forced against them. They do not want to know that they are wrong, they just want to convince someone else to their POV. Sadly, everyone has their POV, and so no one effectively convinces another person. Why try to win-lose by convincing if you could otherwise win-win by letting your friend win the conversation and you, not challenging his ideologies, since he won't care about your opinions on the issue anyway.

I know how difficult it is. Ego is a major culprit in this case, but that is just pushing the blame to a self-created "third-party". In the end, it's still us, are we willing to let go? Do we just want to win? If we just want to win, then go ahead, and convince your friend. Since you feel so deeply for your opinion, if you succeed, you have one more person on your side. Just don't let wanting to win engulf you. Control actions you take to win, and not let the want to win control it. I'm very confident that the latter loses you friends.

Working relationships.

Working relationships.

Recently, I had 2 issues which dealt me quite a big blow. There was this single friend whom I assumed to be a rather close friend behaved rather coldly, based on my judgement then. Not wanting to unfairly judge him, I approached him with some conversations which of I got reluctant answers.

The other incident was due to a misunderstanding and was less complicated. Basically, both of us thought we were right and a reluctant parting of argument occurred. It resolved nothing.

For the latter incident, It was partially resolved by ignoring it and continuing on our work. Nothing was actually trashed out. It made me feel insufficient has been done.

If I could decide, which I could have(due to egos.), I would want to find out if it was merely an isolated event or totally due to me. From the second, I would want to come to a understanding of our POVs and reach a resolve.

Sadly, these may never be done. It has not been the first relationship conflict I've experienced and I totally hate it.

I come to realise, to maintain working relationships, we hide our feelings, bottle them up and pretend that nothing's wrong.

I was thinking, that if I could just let my ego down, I would gain something. I confronted the first with my thoughts and like usual, nothing came out of it.

What it merely did was to let the opposite side know that I am aware. I hate confrontations like many do but I did it. I know that by endearing this behaviour, none of us is going to benefit and would bring me to his level. Additionally, I would never have learn new things like humility.

If I have a choice, I would avoid human relationships, but the fact is, I have no choice. I know what it means to work alone and I know I cannot. Neither is most productive but however working together has more ups and downs compared to that working alone boring monotony.

I now one thing for sure and that is that I've conquer my feeling of being too emotional. I normally tend to be too involved and defensive, but I made myself thinking logically. I did what I needed to do. Although I may not have achieved what I wished, that was to restore our relationships to a new level, I did what I had to do and I judge it as a success.

Procrastinating

Sometimes, it's not about wanting or not and then playing it that someone is being the barrier between getting into action, it's about how much you really need to take action for yourself.

One of my friends recently told me this:" It's not about her why you're not coming back, it's more about you want it or not. if you want it so badly, nothing will stop you. If you hesitate even a slightest bit, nothing can help you regain your direction."

I come to advocate about not making excuses, and had been relatively careful about not falling into that trap. It just turns out that it's that easy to fall into it, all without my knowing.

I've made enough excuses all the way. I now need to decide if it's a yes; I'm going back or a no; I'm never going back.