We aren't just the few

As much as I would like to believe that I am highly oriented towards success and I'd be the only few that have directed goals, it's actually not that feasible. There are more people willing and wanting to make it big and prove themselves. We have varying degrees of that want some more than me, some less than me. Nevertheless, since I've for a short period of time thought I was the only one, with that intense degree, I've actually been very myopic.

I always thought I was king when I hear people's reply of "I don't know" when confronted with the question of, "so what are you gonna do in the future?" Some people are not unsure, they just don't know how to begin, some have really targeted goals which they might choose not to share for fear of judgement or it may really be just that difficult to start with.

Working with a fellow malay led me to this thinking. He was but another highly motivated to succeed kind of guy which led me to think about how much I would really be worth when compared to other people identical to him. He was passionate to the extent that I would just let him talk without interruption and he'd go on and on. We had difference, but we had too many similarities in terms of goals.

He mentioned how he felt inadequate about his rambling and how many friends whom did not identify with him couldn't be bothered to listen how he shouldn't talk more about that subject. I understood, for I'd experienced it as well. I didn't share anything, I acted like a ignorant fool letting him say everything and judge that I wasn't really that interested in my goal.

I had no reason to. I wouldn't win a thing, I couldn't be bothered to.

So how about the people whom had to hear me preach about my goals not long before? They appeared below me for I was not able to seek their viewpoints in the midst of my rambling, and I judged them. For all I know, they may be looking upon me with their experienced way ahead of me, just listening.

What I do know is that I'm really not alone in my aim for it. Way too many people aim for what I aim and despite the abundance, how do I know, that I can be one of the chosen few? I'll just have to wait and see, as negativity and self-talk try to wrestle me from my goals.

(All that led to this post with no logical sequence. Too much feelings not arranged and unable to be placed into exact words, that is what I am feeling.)