Tell me softly

I'm having a really short weekend this time. Sunday I'll be a guard with only Saturday to spare. Within that Saturday, I have too many things to do. I love that feeling of having little time for myself though it sometimes leaves me breathless.

I probably learnt quite a great deal this week. Life's relationships are not really that simple. People all want to be nice and that could really be a problem. You can't tell if they're real or not. Perhaps it's my wrong conception. You can't have everyone like you, if they're willing enough to be nice to you, enjoy that in your company, leave his unhappiness for when you're not around.

That's just the problem with humans, we want to appear good, and we try to tone down our desired actions. Sometimes it self-sabotages, making us feel unbalanced. Other times, It makes it difficult for others to approach us. I understand how it feel sort of. I've always hated people who drag and do not confirm issues. I tried to do it, when I said something, I'd always confirm what I said. I make sure things go correctly as I meant. When I wanted to say you suck, I wouldn't go beating around the bush. At the end of the experiment, I realised, that that nice side of me still interfered. Guess, I still have to act nice when I'm really not willing.

Between me and my friend, when he proposed me to stay behind for something unwilling, he'd always drag telling me, till the last moment when it's no longer possible. Even when he had to break a news to me, he made it really implicit. I'd to guess his meaning for fear of misinterpreting it. Perhaps that's why I can't really communicate, I make discussions too serious to have it be fun.

Now, I have to sit down and analyse myself sometime. What is wrong with how I deal with people, and why do sometimes implicitly works while trying not to make misunderstandings fail. That's somethings I cannot grasp.

I understand that when you wish to break up with someone, you'd drag, cause breaking up is not exactly easy to say. They say, speak with compassion, and with less bluntness, so the conversation will go this way:

"I'd really like you and want you to stay with me all my life, however, I've come to this point and thought about it, maybe we should just cool down for a while."

There is no FOCUS on breaking up, the idea is softly implanted in the other party. Misunderstandings can really occur based on this and this alone. Imagine I ask you out and you say okay, but I made no attempt to provide the venue and timing of meeting and you couldn't be bothered.. but that happens!

That's why I'd to grasp these small details and get better. Some day I'll perhaps become damn good at human to human communication.